When you’re motivated to make a tough decision, or to have a tough conversation, what is the root of your motivation?
-Have you exhibited a pattern of similar behaviors like this in the past? Did they end well?
-If God could watch you making your decision, even if you think you’re right… are you handling it in a righteous way? What would He say if standing beside you?
-Ask yourself the question, “In 5 years, will I look back without shame on how I behaved until the very end?”
-“What would Jesus do” isn’t the only question you can ask: You can immerse yourself in the pages of the Bible and ask, “What DID Jesus do?” A Savior willing to forsake the comforts of Heaven to live and be constantly evaluated, watched, ridiculed, and eventually tortured to death for you and me will most likely have the exact circumstances surrounding you, if you read closely enough.
-Are you being a servant in your decision making process? Are you washing the feet of those surrounding this tough conversation? If the answer is no, maybe you should wait and work on your relationship with people and with God.
-Are you selfless? As in — have you done all you can do on your end? Maybe there are some things you need to get done before you make the decision.
-Ask yourself, how will my decision affect those it involves? Put yourself in their shoes. Do you feel relieved? Hurt? Attacked? Betrayed? Heard? Blamed? Loved?
Now that you’ve put yourself in their shoes, maybe it’s time to change your approach. Maybe it’s time to take off their shoes and wash their feet.
-Now be honest: are you AT ALL angry? If so, ask God to remove it so you can think and hear clearly. Sometimes it’s best in all things to wait to make the decision, in order to spend that time waiting and resting on God and in the pages of His word so you behave more like Him in the decision making process.
There is such a thing as the right decision, done in the wrong timing.
I write in pain as I have learned this the hard way, by leaving a wake behind me of confused hearts and wrong timing. I’ve screwed up. But I want to break the ties and start clean and fresh.
If you’re not sure, absolutely SURE it’s the right time, then press into God more.
He has a way of letting you know when it’s time. There could be more details he is waiting to show you and reveal in the Holy Spirit about other people’s pains and pasts that you need to know going into these tough conversations.
Maybe, just maybe- there is a wash bucket and towel with your name on it.